Holy shit I’m so terribly awkward
if i ever met a genie i wouldnt wish for a million dollars id wish that whenever i bought something i’d always have the right amount of money to pay for it in my pocket
you are one of the great thinkers of our time
- me in november: ugh christmas decorations shouldn't be up this early the holiday isn't for another two months come the fuck on
- me in september: SPOOKY SCARY SKELETONS
I need to have as much wild sex as possible so one day I can become an inappropriate old lady that blurts out things like “when I was your age I got a concussion after being bent over a desk” and then my family can be like “grandma please, you’re making easter dinner really uncomfortable” and it’ll be great
abled people wanna sit up and say shit like ”i’m so blessed that i’m not in your position; it makes me realize how lucky i really am” and wonder why we fucking hate them
What do you call the security guards outside Samsung shops?
Guardians of the Galaxy
I love my skin!
forgive and forget?? haha no resent and remember
i read this as “resent remender” but that kind of still fits
I want to see a reality tv show where straight dudes have to read the shitty messages they send to women to their mothers.
i would die laughing
"how old are you?"
"It’s a secret :3"
"aiight so either 12 or 40 got it"